In every workplace, conflict is inevitable. Whether it’s a clash of personalities, miscommunication, or differing work styles, how we handle conflict can either disrupt team harmony or strengthen collaboration. Conflict, while often seen as negative, can be the catalyst for growth, innovation, and improved relationships when addressed correctly. This article outlines strategies for turning conflict into collaboration, based on insights from Turning Conflict into Collaboration, a course developed by Rising Sun Consultants LLC.
What is Conflict?
At its core, conflict arises from unmet needs and emotional reactions. It often results in behaviors like defensiveness, stonewalling, or criticism, which, if left unchecked, lead to more significant breakdowns in communication and teamwork. According to, John Gottman’s “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—are classic destructive patterns in conflict that erode relationships.
John Gottman’s “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” are four negative communication behaviors that predict relationship breakdown. They include criticism, which attacks a person’s character; contempt, involving disrespect and hostility through sarcasm or ridicule; defensiveness, where one shifts blame to protect themselves; and stonewalling, characterized by withdrawing from interaction, often shutting down communication entirely. These behaviors, if unchecked, can erode trust and harm relationships.
Reframing Conflict: What Could Conflict Be?
Instead of viewing conflict as something to avoid, we can see it as an opportunity for curiosity, learning, and growth. When approached with an open mindset, conflict can reveal underlying issues, unspoken needs, or misaligned goals that, once addressed, can strengthen relationships. By engaging with conflict constructively, individuals can foster better understanding, improve communication, and develop innovative solutions. This shift in perspective transforms conflict from a source of tension into a valuable catalyst for personal and team development. By shifting our mindset from one of judgment to one of openness, conflict can be transformed into collaboration. The key is to manage conflict by addressing its frequency, longevity, and severity. Conflict shouldn’t be about “winning” but about understanding, exploring solutions, and fostering a culture of transparency and accountability.
A Process for Conflict Resolution
Effective conflict resolution begins with a structured approach. Here are five key steps:
- Define the Conflict: Each party should have an uninterrupted opportunity to express their concerns.
- Deal with Feelings: Acknowledging emotions is crucial. This step encourages people to express how the conflict affects them personally, which helps in resolving deeper issues.
- Explore Solutions: Collaboratively brainstorm potential solutions to address the conflict.
- Select a Solution: Agree on a solution that meets the needs of both parties.
- Alternative Plan: If the solution doesn’t work, have a backup plan in place to address future issues.
This process ensures that conflict is addressed constructively, with a focus on mutual understanding, of the both issue and emotions, and long-term success.
The Role of Emotional Intelligence
Most people lack the emotional intelligence needed to navigate conflict effectively. Emotions drive our initial responses to conflict, often leading to reactive behaviors that exacerbate the problem. By recognizing and managing these emotional triggers, we can shift from reacting to responding thoughtfully.
The ability to express emotion, rather than act irrationally, is a crucial skill in managing conflict. For example, saying, “I was upset when this happened,” allows for constructive dialogue, while acting angrily shuts down communication.
The four components of emotional intelligence include self-awareness, which involves recognizing and understanding your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior. Self-management builds on this by allowing you to control impulsive feelings, manage stress, and adapt to changing circumstances in a positive way. The third component, social awareness, refers to the ability to understand the emotions of others and respond empathetically, while relationship management focuses on using emotional insight to build and maintain healthy relationships, communicate effectively, and manage conflict constructively. Together, these components help individuals navigate both personal and professional relationships more successfully.
Building Collaboration from Conflict
The transition from conflict to collaboration hinges on fostering an environment of trust, transparency, and shared goals. Teams need to understand the dynamics at play—both in terms of personal behaviors and group expectations. Successful collaboration depends on the following:
- Concern for Others: Effective communication demonstrates kindness, understanding, and a genuine desire for others to succeed.
- Humility: Being more concerned with what is right than who is right fosters an environment of mutual respect.
- Service Above Self: True collaboration comes from a willingness to prioritize the team’s success over individual victories.
By embedding these values into team interactions, leaders can transform their teams into cohesive units where conflict becomes a source of innovation rather than division.
Conclusion
Conflict is not something to fear but an opportunity to strengthen relationships and improve team dynamics. By following structured conflict resolution processes, fostering emotional intelligence, and embracing humility, teams can turn conflict into collaboration. When approached with the right mindset, conflict can become a tool for growth, ensuring both individual and organizational success.
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Rising Sun is a leadership and organizational consulting firm committed to the development of servant leaders, engaged employees, and healthy organizational cultures. We’re truth-tellers who balance candor and care, and for two decades we’ve been a trusted guide and partner to family-owned companies, multinational firms, and nonprofit organizations alike.
